http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/en-EUhttp://backend.userland.com/rss092http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/http://data5.blog.de/design/preview/81/b85c1305d77c78f3ba03e159a01dd3_160x200.jpg <p>I worked Corporate Customer Services for years,<br> Endured the clients abuse, threats & tears,</p> <p>But the complaints I now receive<br> Are overwhelmingly difficult to believe,<br> So let me take this time to tell,<br> How playcentre owners really do live in hell.</p> <p>The best one yet has got to be,<br> When a man and his son came along for tea,<br> The chips he ordered, he said, were too hot,<br> Would burn the mouth of his little tot.<br> Advising him to let them cool,<br> He looked confused, the stupid fool.</p> <p>A lady spent an hour or three,<br> Writing her complaint for us to see,<br> Advising us that ice cream was not ideal<br> Or suitable for children having a party meal.</p> <p>A vindictive mother of a five year old child,<br> Made all the staff particularly wild.<br> Videoing her daughter as she encouraged her to leave,<br> Into our busy car park. It's hard to believe!<br> As a member of staff prevented this action,<br> The mother then attempted to justify her reaction.<br> Health & Safety, she had to inform,<br> That our premises are unsafe, outside the norm.<br> And then the true reason of her complaint became clear,<br> When the cheque for our services failed to clear.<br> Using her daughter to act as a sacrifical lamb,<br> To avoid paying our bill, she now has a life time ban.</p> <p>The toilets smell. Well that's a nappy.<br> We'll empty the bin. Still not happy.</p> <p>The coffees too strong or much too weak,<br> THere's water on the playframe, wee? or a leak?</p> <p>I've stayed for my two hours and as I leave I'll complain,<br> It's too hot/cold,too busy. We couldn't remain.<br> I want a refund or a free go,<br> Fuck off you tightwad scrounger. No!</p> <p>Your car park was full so I had to pay & display,<br> I want a discount, I refuse to pay.</p> <p>In a world full of conflict and disasters millions suffer,<br> It's hard to take seriously these winging fathers & mothers.<br> At the end of the day, we all do our best,<br> Providing entertainment to give parents a rest.</p> <p>These same individuals wouldn't dare to complain to the large leisure chains,<br> As they happily pay triple our prices. Never using their brains.</p> <p>We're threatened with complaints to Health & Safety and the press,<br> It makes these unhappy bullies feel superiour, I guess.</p> <p>Yet, seeing my once happy staff be bullied and suffer,<br> I really have ceased to try and bother.</p> <p>After three years of insomnia and constant drama,<br> I'm selling up, need to regain my inner karma.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/12/31/customer_complaints~3509657/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/12/31/customer_complaints~3509657/Mon, 31 Dec 2007 06:42:47 +0100 <p>So my earlier post was emotionless and to the point regarding the cold feet text received today from a once very close and special friend.<br> What is causing me so much confusion regarding his admission is our history. This wasn't a meaningless encounter with a stranger, but a person who I have known and loved for the last two years.<br> We met when our mutual friend, Charlotte, was moving into her house. On a sticky and hot July afternoon in a house full of unpacked boxes and chaos, our mutual physical attraction towards each other was apparent from the second our eyes met. Yet our shyness prevented us from acting on it.<br> Three months later when we met again, he was involved with Sarah, a woman who had left her husband for him. As I got to know him and her as friends,he was now out of bounds due to his relationship, even though each time we met the attraction remained.<br> At Charlottes christmas party last year, he interrogated me regarding the casual relationship I was involved with, with another mutual friend Jamie, accusing me that I would hurt him and I shouldn't be sleeping with him. All in front of Sarah.<br> As the months continued, contact with him increased. He spent six weeks redoing my kitchen and painting the outside of my house in the spring. Sarah came along too as she let him support her financially and refused to get a proper job. And every now and again, he would send me a saucy text, expressing his desire for me.<br> Yet their relationship continued even though they would bicker continually,rarely went out and lived a solitary life. Any attempt from Charlotte to encourage Sarah to come out for a night was rejected.<br> Early September, he returned from working away to find that Sarah had left him, taking his furniture with her. Charlotte and myself attempted to support him through this time as his emotions ranged from shock and anger after all he had done for her.<br> A few weeks later, he sent me a text, confessing that he had wanted me from the moment he had seen me and that we should date. Surprised, yet pleased, I tried to let him know my feelings yet express caution, knowing it may have been too soon following his split to move on to me. And the suggested dates did not occur.<br> Then a couple of weeks later, Charlotte suddenly died. When I heard the news, the first person I thought of was him, and I rang him to break the news. Two days later he sent me a text to say he and Sarah wanted to come and spend the evening with me. Which they did. No mention of her return or her sudden departure was made. We all acted as if it had never happened.<br> As we waited for the funeral, Sarah remained living with him. Yet during that long fortnight before our final goodbyes, he and I finally confessed how we felt for each other. I accepted that Sarah was back for the funeral and they were not back together.<br> Finally, the day of the funeral arrived. Sarah looked dreadful, no makeup, hair scraped severly back from her face, lining of her skirt hanging down. The brief contact I had with him was watched intently by her, making me feel extremly uncomfortable.<br> He had suggested that he spent the evening with me that night, yet when it became apparent that she would be coming with him, I declined. How could I spend an evening with someone when I had spent the previous two weeks passionately texting her partner?<br> As the weeks following the funeral passed, Sarah remained with him, her car needed to be repaired and then he was afraid of her mental state and what she may do if he told her to leave. Blah!<br> And then things changed. Last Wednesday he came round to see me. As he was leaving he let slip that he had fallen in love with me. I told him that I loved him too. The same night, he told Sarah to leave. And the next day she did.<br> We spent the weekend together. Saturday night he told me that he wanted to marry me and loved me. Everything felt right, natural, perfect. He left late on Sunday.<br> And now? Just two days later, I get the cold feet message. After all this time of knowing each other so well, waiting for each other, knowing my set up, I'm in shock. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/11/15/cold_feet_cont~3298552/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/11/15/cold_feet_cont~3298552/Thu, 15 Nov 2007 03:55:39 +0100 <p>Hmmm... Any suggestions as to how to respond to that text after patiently waiting neally two years to 'get it on' with that person?</p> <p>This time last week he was declaring how he had fallen in love with me months ago. At the weekend, when we had finally spent the night together, he told me how he would marry me one day.</p> <p>Three days later...I get the above!</p> <p>My response?</p> <p>"You and me both. Lets just put it down to experience. Ps, thank f**k I didn't shave my bits!"</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/11/14/i_ve_got_cold_feet_sorry~3297839/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/11/14/i_ve_got_cold_feet_sorry~3297839/Wed, 14 Nov 2007 22:43:14 +0100 <p>Anyone who may have suffered my previous blogs will appreciate that I haven't had an easy life recently. Sorry, and I hope I haven't caused any suicides or manic depressive episodes.<br> After reading an article about a fella in USA (where else) who has introduced a non complaining policy for 21 days, I have decided to get my complaints out of my system before joining his cult...hmm, sorry, lifestyle!<br> Therefore, the following are my complaints...guaranteed....<br> 1. I am always the last one in a queue.<br> 2. My mother/sister always visit me when I am hungover/tired/ill/house in a mess..and put it down to my assumed, dodgy lifestyle.<br> 3. My landlord always rings me at work when I forget to put a silly voice on when I answer the phone.<br> 4. Anyone in a 4 by 4 are stupid and can't drive..and are bloody well in my way!<br> 5. Working with the general public, especially spoilt, rich, stay at home mums, is crap. Their brains have diminished to raisin size, leading to a total lack of reality or empathy for other human beings.<br> 6. Traffic wardens should be rounded up and pushed off Beachy Head.<br> 7. Ditto,VAt Inspectors, Town Councillors, thieving bastard accountants and the biased BBC management.<br> 8. All reality 'celebrities' should be placed in stocks, pelted with custard, their earnings donated to hospices before being returned back to their untalented normal lifes and to work for their money.<br> 9. The management of the hospitals where patients died of C-difficile should be charged with manslaughter.<br> 10. All children should be able to read when they leave school.<br> 11.Pointless "university courses" should be replaced with useful employment skills and trades.<br> 12. Stop this nanny state!<br> 13. Outlaw Ambulance chasing insurance firms<br> 14. And, for gods sake...let us enjoy life without guilt, with the teeny portion of income we have left each month.</p> <p>That over, I now cannot complain about anything for 21 days...at the end, I should feel positive, happy and peaceful....<br> Hmmm....love a challenge!</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/11/10/guaranteed~3273408/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/11/10/guaranteed~3273408/Sat, 10 Nov 2007 06:16:17 +0100 <p>To make our government realise that all children in full time education must learn to read!<br> How can a once civilised country fail so many?<br> And how do these non readers fill in their dole forms, see whats on sky and set up their playstations?<br> Bizzare.... </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/11/01/what_shall_we_do~3227676/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/11/01/what_shall_we_do~3227676/Thu, 01 Nov 2007 04:25:40 +0100 <p>Reasons for not writing recently/<br> a) Started to write a novel,<br> b) Summer hols, the Oct hols.<br> c) Exhaustion!<br> d) Death of best friend.<br> e) Divorce proceedings.<br> f) Trying to keep buisness viable,<br> g) Single mum to two children<br> h) Family fall out<br> i) 11 plus selection process<br> j) New relationship<br> k) Going out more<br> l) Renovating house<br> j) Ex still a twat.</p> <p>Need any more?</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/11/01/apologies_for_distance~3227614/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/11/01/apologies_for_distance~3227614/Thu, 01 Nov 2007 03:09:00 +0100 <p>Surprisingly...life continues..and still, I continue to function.<br> The problems I have previously written about were tiny spots of raindrops compared to recent events, yet my day to day routine remains unchanged. I smile at neighbours, other parents at school, customers and staff. All unaware of my pain and loss.<br> My children rarely see my anguish. Yet any glimmer of anxiety or tears that I may, unavoidable shed near them, are quickly ignored ,the reason for my emotion, such as a song on the radio, a film or a conversation of a past event is swiftly reacted to, their intention to kindly reduce my sadness yet, by doing do, selfishly preventing their pain at seeing their mother - me - suffering.<br> To loose a beloved, close and supportive friend, so suddenly and at such a young life, at 39, has pros and cons. Odd but true.<br> Pros then first.<br> a) Her 14 and 10 year old children outwardly appear to be coping. A cloak of self presevation has decended over them, instinctively knowing where to aim within their family to obtain the love, emotion but also financial support to continue to provide the that their mother had always organised and paid for. Using all the combinations, they know they will be supported in each area but from numerous other family/friend members<br> b) That death is no longer something to be feared. Standing in the perfectly peaceful cemetry, I almost envied the serenity of death. Calm.<br> c) Since her death, I have sensed unusual events. Waking up during the night at times such as 2.22, 3.33.4.44, for example,. To me, a sign she was there.<br> d) Decisions that felt right, were right. Last time I saw her, just two days before she died, I was initially tempted to ask her to go with my children on her own to a school fair. Yet pulled myself together enough to go. Same day, my kids were meant to go off to a drama group, but as we were all having a great time wih her and her child, decided to stay for a lovely afternoon in a pub.<br> e) That she lived her life with risk. Made the most of every opportunity...</p> <p>And the cons...<br> a)She's no longer around for the positive feed back, the reminders of the good things, not just the crap...I've now lost her optimisum and support that kept me going, and hopefully how I kept her going too.<br> b) The laughs we had. Genuinely, never vindictive.<br> c) Missing that person that you clicked with in every way....abruptly gone without saying goodbye.<br> d) Finding a friend who was so easy to be yourself with. Happy to play scrabble or do crossword puzzles on a weekend night, yet knowing that if you went out, you;d still have fun.</p> <p>Tonight, I have her dtr staying with me. She's coping so well even though she was with her mother when she died. At ten. She dosen't want aympathy just acknoledgement that she is still the same person she always was. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/11/01/i_m_still_here~3227427/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/11/01/i_m_still_here~3227427/Thu, 01 Nov 2007 01:04:23 +0100 <p>After 37 years of enduring the bullying, jealousy and underlying hostility of my sister, she has finally achieved her long standing ambition, to destroy my relationship with my parents. </p> <p>So the background....Evil Sister (ES) was nicknamed Thunder Cloud when we were children due to her quick temper and mood swings. She has always had the ability to create an uncomfortable atmosphere if things aren't going her way, so as a family of four children and busy, working parents it became the norm to give into her, for a quiet life. </p> <p>At the age of 41, she, her two children and alcoholic husband continue to live with and be financially supported by my parents, as they have done for the last seven years. The money they earn isn't saved, they have no furniture, expensive gadgets or jewellery, they rarely go on holiday, they drive a car that cost them a grand, shop for clothes in budget shops, have no savings, yet they always have money for the pub and cigarettes. </p> <p> Until a few weeks ago, ES was working for me, a temporary offer that continued for over a year, she was earning a very generous salary but was only occasionally contributing to the household bills. She walked out of work following a petty argument with another member of staff, a luxury few of us can do without another job lined up, due to our financial commitments. And four weeks later she's a lady of leisure, lie-ins, afternoon baths and day time tv, watching the clock to ensure she looks busy when my seventy year old mother or seventy three year old father return from their full time jobs. She knows they won't dare to ask her when she's going to look for a job, she's waiting for one to be handed to her. She knows they will bail her out to pay for her sons new grammer school uniform, and that they won't ask for her to pay them back. She always gets round them.</p> <p>Until recently, I used to pity her. Underneath the bullying and snide remarks she is timid, lacking in confidence, frightened of driving somewhere new, intimidated by answering the phone or going to an interview and desperately,desperately unhappy. I pitied her lack of close friends that she could confide in over a cup of tea, instead of talking crap when pissed in the pub and becoming embarrasing and dull with a ten minute best friend. But no more.</p> <p>I have endured a life time of her resentment, her justification to herself that I've only achieved what I have because of the help I have had from the family. That somehow I have had all the luck without considering the fact that I didn't go the pub every night. That I had more from our parents then she did when we were growing up...I've heard how she bragged to my staff that she could run the business better then me, that it would fail if she wasn't there and trying to encourage other staff to criticise me and my deputy when we were doing office work. </p> <p>So her final act that has shattered our family?</p> <p>We have chosen to avoid discussing problems with ES or critising her or her lifestyle because we have become frightened of her reaction and how long the cool atmosphere would continue for. When ES feels she is under attack by anyone questioning something she has done or not agreeing with her opinions, she retaliates by picking on your weaknesses, invading your personal space and becoming very aggressive forcing you to back down.</p> <p>At a family party, a friend was advising ES to stop drinking red wine as he had seen how volatile she becomes after the sixth glass and he jokingly said he would go home if she had the next glass. I joined in, saying I would get her some vodka as it doesn't have the same effect, hoping to avoid an outburst that we had witnessed the night before and which she couldn't remember. Suddenly, the sixth glass was no longer necessary, she staggered up from her chair, looked at me and shouted 'You're a drug addict, and I hate you!' </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/08/30/i_v~2898407/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/08/30/i_v~2898407/Thu, 30 Aug 2007 23:44:10 +0200 <p>Out of ten...at the mo I'm on an 8 on the happiness chart....</p> <p>Just felt compelled to write that down!!! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/06/22/i_m_happy~2502669/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/06/22/i_m_happy~2502669/Fri, 22 Jun 2007 22:43:21 +0200 <p>Just speht the last four hours going through photos with Lucy (the au pair) to make a collage to brighten up my very white kitchen ....</p> <p>Lots of happy family scenes, sunny holidays, first day of term, Christmas, weddings etc...the majority of events occuring during my ex hubbys constant pinging between me and his other woman,a situation I was very much aware of for many years. Yet no one would guess at the drama and heartache I was going through by looking at these photos as I tried to protect my children from our unhappiness.</p> <p>It's been quite a while since I even dwelt on what may have been occuring in the background of these memories, I just saw my childrens smiling faces and ooooeeeddd and ahhed at how much they've grown and how lucky they've been with holidays abroad, days out and over indulgent birthday parties. No regrets or pain for what if's...or wishing we were still a family...</p> <p>Then, I across one particular photo which floored me...my eldest daughter, just turned 3, sitting on my kitchen table, looking cute in dungarees and a sun hat, surrounded by Easter Eggs, and looking utterly miserable. And I realised that this was the second day that her Daddy hadn't been at home...and mummy couldn't tell her when he would be back....totally heartbreaking.....</p> <p>A momentary flinch of pain for her sadness and confusion....</p> <p>..and then...</p> <p>....in a split second...</p> <p>....it was gone...x </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/06/14/photo_collection~2455012/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/06/14/photo_collection~2455012/Thu, 14 Jun 2007 23:39:09 +0200 <p>Got home from a crap day to find the builders still faffing around in my kitchen with little change, the news that one of the dogs had done a smelly and fishy poo in the sitting room (the au pair had thrown out some fish and failed to tie up the bin bag, so they have eaten four pieces of out of date cod..hmmm!) that the au pair is leaving...(actually, a good thing!..a strain hiding the fact that some nights it's fun not to sleep at all...and she broke so many things, DVD player, washing machine, hoover and favourite picture...)</p> <p>And why does wine taste so nice at 5.30pm?</p> <p>Feel lovely and mellow now.....</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/06/05/on_a_lighter_note~2400870/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/06/05/on_a_lighter_note~2400870/Tue, 05 Jun 2007 20:31:39 +0200 <p>I've recently started to suspect that I'm wrong about people in my life...today's classic is as follows:</p> <p>My nearest business competitor closed down a few weeks ago after just 18 months of trading due to their initial over investment on the set up. The landlord approached me to see if I would be interested to take it on and I visited it several times.</p> <p>Problem is, I can only do so if I use my house as security to raise any funds, a decision I'm just not prepared to do. Or attract investors. So, I approached my eldest sister to see if they may be willing to invest, the idea being that I would link the sites together and cross market, staff, etc, using my brand and contacts that I have worked hard to establish after five years in this field.</p> <p>Before I knew it, they were meeting with the landlord and the owner without me,who both confirmed that I was first choice for taking this on and that they would not even be considered without my expererience, their bank manager was prepared to lend them almost twice the money I would need to start up, and they were seeking advice from everyone with little knowledge of this business and using me for advice on the more technical aspects, yet using my trading history.</p> <p>I'd already expressed my concerns to my sister as to how this would work, scared of falling out etc and that we needed to agree on how the partnership would be set up, before any decision was made as to continue or not. </p> <p>Today I went to their business for a meeting, and my concerns were clarified.</p> <p>Whilst there, the owner of the site rang...seeking a decision, the bank manager rang for more info, and sis and hubby advised me that they had been quoted £10k for an extraction system following advice from Dodgy Dave and his greasy take away business next door and failing to ask me, who's set up two of these businesses and only spent £3K!</p> <p>So as I waited for bro in law to get off phone from bank manager,every now and again shouting out for help and info from me etc, sis suddenly asked me how much I wanted as a consultant and how many days a week i was prepared to work for them...and I lost my temper...said that I was not going to help them set up a competing business and that they were using me. As she snapped back that they were the investors and I wasn't, therefore they were entitled to continue as they were,and saying that they had asked advice from Dodgy Dave as I was not running a commercial kitchen and he was(!), I walked out, saying that this was what I was afraid of....</p> <p>A huge weight has lifted..bro in law has rung tonight and confirmed that i am the key to them obtaining this business... so I will drag things out...and will not be used...</p> <p>Or am I a cow?</p> <p>Feels good though!!!</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/06/05/maybe_it_is_me~2399850/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/06/05/maybe_it_is_me~2399850/Tue, 05 Jun 2007 17:53:38 +0200 <p>Sub title....</p> <p>Bumping into ex sis & brother in law...</p> <p>Off to town with children last Saturday to buy a few bits. We're all in happy moods, enjoying a rare weekend with full access of them as ex away with business. I'm just reversing into a space when eldest child spots my ex sis in law...directing ex bro in law trying to park their new Land Rover a few spaces from us.</p> <p>Ex sis...I'll call her Drama Queen, has also seen us although pretends not to..so as she attempts to hurry ex bro, I'll call him Henpecked, towards the entrance, at the same time as us, I call out a cheery hello! </p> <p>Now, I've known them both for neally twenty years, spent every christmas with them, summer holidays, Henpecked lodged with us for six months, he's my eldest's godfather, I babysat their dtr every holiday for years and we all shared similar humour etc...and if the children weren't with me, I may have avoided them too.</p> <p>Because, for some reason since I finally ended my farcical marriage with her brother due to his long term affair, she has treated me like a total stranger, a nasty smell, a maggot in her apple...and I don't know why! </p> <p>So, as they stopped, Henpecked politely chatted (obviously better breeding!) I blabbered, talking crap, and she stood, arms crossed, just managing to say hello to the children...the children I know she welcomes when they are with ex and who she usually embraces. I mention that my youngest reminds me so much of their dtr at the same age, which she questions as if 'how the fuck would I know' attitude, so after barely three minutes of this total hell, I smile and say lovely to see you but that we must dash and do so. </p> <p>I feel like crying..due to anger, frustration and injustice of being treated like this by people I was once so close to, I'm shaking and close to returning to the car for a cigarette. The children have totally picked up on the situation, and bombard me with questions as to why Drama Queen was so strange, a situation I was hoping to avoid by not hiding away from relatives just because I'm with them and not their dad..I say that I don't know and distract them (H & M does the trick) so they quickly forget. And I spend the next hour hiding my feelings.</p> <p>Later on, as I'm telling my mother, I suddenly wonder if ex has, once again, manipulated the situation to make him look better...and to justify his behaviour. I already know that he told his family that I'd had a miscarriage following a one night stand year, when I was suffering with something else and was not even a teeny bit pregnant!. So very possible...would love to know what I've been doing!!!</p> <p>Yet after hours of thoughts of confronting her, writing and demanding an explanation or worrying about it, I decide, that actually I don't want to know. I'm comfortable that I'm doing the right thing for my children by smiling and chatting if we are together when we see them. I can't let them grow up thinking that they can only be friendly to relatives when the right parent is with them...</p> <p>So...bollocks for wasting time on this! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/06/04/bollocks~2395706/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/06/04/bollocks~2395706/Mon, 04 Jun 2007 22:54:10 +0200 <p>Its 3am and for some bizarre reason, as in I haven't been downing bucket loads of expressos or dabbling in illegal drugs...wouldn't know where to get them!, I'm wide awake with random thoughts popping into my head...</p> <p>Such as...</p> <p>1. Big Brother...why? Twelve weeks of a once civilised nation obsessively watching a group of purposely ill matched individuals living together? Totally edited, set up to encourage confrontation, misery and if very lucky, a hint of sex...Initial concept was entertaining but now it's aim appears to try and attract publicity no matter how it affects people sad enough to subject themselves to this ritual humiliation.<br> Release Davina,(actually, release Davina from any tv programme!) and us, from this piss poor, cheap, unimaginative crap...<br> 2. Same with the audition part of the X factor...where is Lianne anyone?<br> 3. Why has the climate change/global warming brigade gone quiet during these weeks of wind and rain?<br> 4. Do birds barter with each other? (Been wondering about this a lot lately...)<br> 5. Why does your bed always feel so cosy when you have to get up...yet never quite the same or as snuggly, when you don't)<br> 6. Why does it cost more to buy a return ticket on the channel tunnel depending on how long your away for, then a day trip ticket?<br> 7. Why do VAT inspectors all seem to wear anoraks?<br> 8. Why are films so long these days?</p> <p>There...that's better! I may be able to sleep now....</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/06/01/early_morning_thougts~2371000/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/06/01/early_morning_thougts~2371000/Fri, 01 Jun 2007 03:11:08 +0200 <p>My life has never been dull, well, not in the last eight or so years, and although quite stressful, at least I know that I've made the most of it. I'm actually learning to like myself and my life again, and I would hate to be on my death bed regretting what I hadn't done. (I never regret the past,..it's made me the person I am.)</p> <p>I've raised my children with the attitude that you are responsible for your own happiness and that even if life is going wrong, it could be a hell of a lot worse. And yes, I've been lucky, growing up where I did, having a secure childhood, loving parents, good friends, good health and discovering my own self esteem. (Wish I'd had the confidence I have now, twenty years ago!)</p> <p>Yet some of my closest friends, including my ex sis in law, who I love to bits, are living a mundane life. Outwardly, they have the secure marriage, the comfortable homes, no money worries, the healthy children, the dinner parties etc, yet they're now heading into their forties and reconsidering their lives...where is the excitement during their daily routines, where has their own identity and aspirations gone and why have they lost their appreciation of how lucky they are? </p> <p>In some respects I'm lucky...although I grew up in a large family, I love my space, my time. I don't need people around me constantly, I don't need a partner to make me feel whole, I'm happy with or without others... (the reason my mother thinks caused my marriage to break down..I was too independent, irrespective of an extremely week partner and a madly obsessive mistress!) And I can see the same in my children. I'm not embarrased of my marriage breakdown, I don't feel at fault, I actually feel proud that I've coped, achieved so much and that my children are happy, secure about themselves, respectful of others, confident and undamaged by our families breakdown. </p> <p>There is always a reason for why things happen...it's up to you how you deal with them... </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/05/26/rather_me~2339122/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/05/26/rather_me~2339122/Sat, 26 May 2007 19:51:27 +0200 <p>How often have you met someone who you instantly feel comfortable with?</p> <p>A person, male or female, who you click with?</p> <p>Is it just me, or as adults are we too distrusting, too aware of some people's falseness, so bombarded by sales tricks or what someone else is out to get from you, that we are amazed when someone genuinely likes you for you?</p> <p>Hmmm....so special when it happens....</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/05/23/real_people~2323143/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/05/23/real_people~2323143/Wed, 23 May 2007 22:56:55 +0200 <p>I've always wanted to write a book, I've started many, planned in my head even more, yet lack confidence in pursuing this...afraid of what? </p> <p>It seems so easy, so, why isn't it?</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/05/16/a_novel_idea~2278027/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/05/16/a_novel_idea~2278027/Wed, 16 May 2007 01:20:01 +0200 <p>I've been counting my blessings today. These are as follows:</p> <p>1, Two gorgeous, healthy, happy children.<br> 2, Close and loving family,<br> 3, Good friends,<br> 4, Lovely home in a friendly, safe area,<br> 5, No real money worries,<br> 6, Healthy,<br> 7, Independent,<br> 8, My own business which allows flexibility in my life,<br> 9, My returning optimism,<br> 10, My sense of humour.</p> <p>Probably helps that I haven't read the Daily Mail today!! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/05/16/my_life~2277970/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/05/16/my_life~2277970/Wed, 16 May 2007 01:03:06 +0200 <p>Went to see The Bridge to Terabithia (spelt wrong?)today...haven't cried so much in a film since I saw that one where the mother has to give her 6 children away before she dies of cancer..which was cheery..</p> <p>But TBTT was just soooo goood...the trailers for it were quite misleading so some people were expecting a real Narnia type fantasy then, not surprisingly, gave it bad reviews.</p> <p>But this film, for me, was the best one I've seen for years...not too long and not too sentimental. (Am I the only one who thinks Notting Hill, Love is all around and the 2nd Bridget Jones films were sick inducing?)</p> <p>My favourite films are as follows:<br> The Usual Suspects,<br> Closer,<br> Scandel,<br> Fight Club,<br> Angel Heart<br> 9 and a half weeks,<br> Life of Brian,<br> The Game<br> Leaving Las Vegas,<br> Merry Christmas Mr Lawerence,</p> <p>Films I've walked out of:<br> Hannah and her sisters..(I was only 15, so may see it differently now)<br> One of the Rambos...all mingle into one.<br> Face Off,</p> <p>Films that were ok..but distinctly over hyped:<br> The Devil in Prada,<br> Borat (sorry...funny in places but watching through fingers, cringing..)<br> Wedding Crashers..too long,</p> <p>Films I'll never watch again:<br> The last Hannibal one...unnecessarily gory,<br> 28 Days...only went to see London deserted,<br> Titanic...</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/05/13/sunday_already~2264632/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/05/13/sunday_already~2264632/Sun, 13 May 2007 22:23:23 +0200 <p>Is this just me???</p> <p>Just heard the news on Radio 1, apparently the government have so little to do that they are writing to ebay to tell them to stop people selling the Big Weekend tickets. This is to stop ticket touts...yet how can this interference happen in a free country? Ok I know professional touts can be abit dodgy, but surely its up to each individual to spend their money in any way they choose..isn't it a question of supply and demand? No one is holding a gun against their head forcing them to hand over money (unlike the Inland Revenue, figuratively speaking)</p> <p>If I've missed something, ie its a charity event or a fund raiser then please let me know...god, we'll soon be forced to carry clean hankies and have our bottoms wiped by specially trained government bodily waste extractors! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/05/12/head_shaking_in_disbelief~2257313/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/05/12/head_shaking_in_disbelief~2257313/Sat, 12 May 2007 15:49:01 +0200 <p>What a lovely day!!!</p> <p>Had to endure a 'business meeting' with ex (now known as Dick as in dickhead, fuckwit or twatfeatures). Prepared myself for the typical corporate bullshit that he spurts without a)laughing, b) rolling my eyes c) crying with frustration...We were in the office at work, and following the issue on Sat, I'd asked my sis to sit in the staff room next door in case I 'goaded' him too much again.</p> <p>Yet, I was on form today and managed to trip him up on certain accusations he threw at me... (not scoring points, honest) I kept calm, didn't shout or storm out and watched how he would go from aggressive to controlled again in seconds.. </p> <p>And so to the best bit!!! The financial split of our divorce.. I'm insisting on doing this properly through the courts (due to the honesty problem ie his inability to be honest ) so he gave me two options to consider...</p> <p>I can have the house, all the equity, and the endowment, and the huge mortgage payments, and he will accept a payment for his share of the business, and he will have no further involvement with the business. However, this offer is only available if we sort this amicabally without involving the courts.</p> <p>Or I can waste time and money going through the courts and until its agreed he will continue to be involved with the business, demand regular business meetings and basically be a pain in the arse..(said I;ve endured this since we opened so can endure a further 6 months)</p> <p>And finally, (told you, fog has lifted in my head!) it all became clear...I suddenly remembered how when we were together, he used to say that I would be very wealthy if he died while working in his current job and that his pension is very very generous...he has also said that as I have my own pension this would rule out my entitlement to his..(mine is tiny, so total bullshit) Basically, the equity (which could reduce) and endowment is less then half the worth of his pension....therefore the courts may decide that I should benefit from the pension as well or they may not. But I have more faith that it will be fairer for them to decide.</p> <p>Fact is though, I'm not a total money grabbing, bitter ex wife, out to financially cripple him, and I would be happy with the house and making a small payment to him for the business ie £15k in recognition of his involvement etc (he took £10k out of our joint mortgage account to buy his new house so would have offered £25k) and our personal investment was £50k which was added to the mortgage which I now pay...yet he wants £50k to be brought out...plus business only breaking even at mo.....ermmm...???</p> <p>As I failed to agree to his preferred option, he tried to change his approach..don't want to fall out over this..you and girls are always my main priority (bullshit!)etc, stuck to my guns..so, like a little spoilt brat, off he sulks... Can guarantee that next discussion, he will convienently forget my decision and use the little charm he thinks he has to get me to change my mind....</p> <p>Finally...thank god, went off for lunch with some girlfriends, two having been through this, both advised me to do it properly...let the fight continue!!!</p> <p>Night</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/05/12/yabadabadoo~2254541/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/05/12/yabadabadoo~2254541/Sat, 12 May 2007 01:02:18 +0200 <p>So whats new?</p> <p>Following Saturdays events with ex, he sent me text on Sunday saying that the children wanted to stay another night with him, and he would bring them back Mon am. He turned up with them on Mon as arranged and insisted on coming in to talk..I wasn't happy about this but didn't want to make a scene in front of them. I confronted him regarding his attempt to throttle me, which he tried denying and then admitted that it was my fault as I had goaded him!!! Obviously, I then asked him to leave, which he did and as always,he left with a few personal insults hanging in the air. Pathetic heh?</p> <p>I told the children how glad I was that they were home and lets make the most of what was left of the weekend etc, to learn that they had been told by him that I was out Sunday night and didn't want them home!!! So he's now reverting to manipulating his own children to get at me!!! How low will he go...</p> <p>Made formal statement with the police on Tuesday..have left it on record and advised my solicitor of situation...see how this develops..</p> <p>Apart from this, I feel so much better! The fog has lifted at last and motivation has arrived...and the best news ever arrived on Tuesday...our nearest competitors have gone bust after 18 months!! Know it's not nice to gloat on others misfortunes..but sooooo hard not to due to the underhand way they have behaved (another story!)and we've picked up a lot of their business already...</p> <p>Maybe a little bit of luck is heading my way at last...</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/05/10/lifes_mysterious_ways~2248056/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/05/10/lifes_mysterious_ways~2248056/Thu, 10 May 2007 21:40:44 +0200 <p>Just a quickie at mo, as off out with friends soon....</p> <p>Ex came to collect children earlier, frustrated with me as I haven't encouraged any conversation with him this week..so, when I suggested that we completed our financial split properly..ie through solicitors as I was unable to trust his honesty (hmmm? he spent the last six years of our marriage living a double life..so I feel I have reasonable justification in doubting his every word) he lost his temper...and suddenly he has his hands around my throat...squeezing!! Didn't last very long, but long enough for me to panic...</p> <p>Children then came downstairs and he snapped back into doting dad...</p> <p>After speaking to a close friend, decided to report this to police, which I've done and meeting with them on Tuesday...</p> <p>Strange thing is, I feel a sick sense of satisfaction that he lost control to do this...ie he's always been verbally threatening but always managed to hold back any physical attack...any explanation anyone?</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/05/05/saturdays_alright_for_throttling~2216537/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/05/05/saturdays_alright_for_throttling~2216537/Sat, 05 May 2007 19:24:36 +0200 <p>Got a few....</p> <p>Our continuing creativity...as in fashion, music, litrature,comedy, industry etc...</p> <p>Our optimism that we CAN win a major sporting event...</p> <p>Our chirpy sense of humour....</p> <p>Our healthy attitude to binge drinking...</p> <p>Marmite...</p> <p>Our countryside</p> <p>Marks & Spencers Food Hall</p> <p>Aero bubbles....</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/05/03/what_s_still_good_about_the_uk_got_one~2206135/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/05/03/what_s_still_good_about_the_uk_got_one~2206135/Thu, 03 May 2007 22:08:54 +0200 <p>Just finished watching the Panaroma program tonight highlighting our god damn awful maternity services now offered(!) in some hospitals in this country...this on top of my new council tax bill that arrived today, £125 a month, for what?? and a rather thoughtful note left by the dustmen advising me that they will only take rubbish that fits into my green wheelie bin (which they collect fortnightly)and therefore the extra bag I so thoughtlessly assumed would be collected by them is left. </p> <p>Last week I received a letter from my NHS dentist advising that they are transferring to private patients only, so pay or try and find another NHS dentist in the area (ha!...more chance of watching Posh tucking into a family feast bargain bucket from KFC)</p> <p>So instead of sitting here trying to work out where exactly all our hard earnt money goes, decided to think about why this country is still fab.....</p> <p>.....erm.....any suggestions????!!!!! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/05/03/what_s_still_good_about_the_uk~2205971/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/05/03/what_s_still_good_about_the_uk~2205971/Thu, 03 May 2007 21:44:37 +0200 <p>I've kept describing myself as positive, optimistic etc, yet since last summer I've felt very much like I've been living in a fog, no libido, weight gain, mood swings,disinterest in work, fatigue etc. I had made an appointment to see my gp for this Tuesday and was going to ask to be tested for diabetes, or for some happy pills...or thyroid prob.etc<br> Then on sat, I was surfing the net and put mirena coil in search engine (had mine since last August)..f**king hell!!..came across hundreds of women all with the same story as me....and finally put two and two together...The relief!!!</p> <p>So saw gp on Tuesday, explained all the symptoms, ending with my my lack of libido (blushed terribly!) and he agreed that there were too many coincindences and removed the offending thing! Know it may take a while to become normal (for hormones to leave the system) yet relief has already altered me... </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/05/02/yipee_fog_should_start_lifting_mirena_co~2200138/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/05/02/yipee_fog_should_start_lifting_mirena_co~2200138/Wed, 02 May 2007 23:39:34 +0200 <p>So I'm invited along to a local jazz club by a couple of friends tonight, never been before, although heard that it was pretty good...Imagined a lot of beardy and middle aged men playing sad tunes on saxophones, going on a tad too long!</p> <p>So I'm wrong..not so much jazz but Damien Rice meets Oasis, really, really good..As we walk into the bar, I see some faces I haven't seen for, god, about twenty years.. since the days of being 18 and in my local pub in the country...There's the guy who got my best friend pregnant, still with the same girlfriend/wife he was with at the time (the bugger), the eighties throw back posh bird..still with the cropped spikey hair of the Yazoo period, a few of the older rugby players, now balding or grey, and then...OMG...my ex best friend who I haven't seen for neally two years, best friend for 14 years, godmother of my dtr, keeper of all secrets...</p> <p>I'm pleased to see that she looks good, happy, and settled with the man she married..and I feel a sense of closure...I do not have an overwhelming desire to make amends, to catch up, to renew the intense friendship that we enjoyed for so long, plus I feel content with who I am now, the friends I have, the life I have. Our friendship had run its course at the time, so why would it be any different now?</p> <p>At the end of the evening, I leave without speaking to her, without looking at her, confident that she would never, ever approach me first (she had never done so in the past)and knowing that I've made the right decision.</p> <p>Petty? Possibly...</p> <p>Correct? Absolutely!! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/04/26/jazz_club~2162027/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/04/26/jazz_club~2162027/Thu, 26 Apr 2007 00:51:30 +0200 <p>After feeling sorry for myself for a couple of days, started to snap out of it, without the help of any happy pills from the doc...(not that I'd asked for any, or even been to see him, knew that I just needed a break)</p> <p>Went to school to watch eldest play netball and had a long chat with another mum...she's always been very outspoken and direct so I was gobsmacked to hear the way she talked about her hubby...ie all men are twats, I hate my hubby, don't even fancy him anymore, but he did give me three lovely kids! Bloody hell, she'd have been better off with a sperm donor! Made me realise that I'd rather be single then make do and put up with....lifes much too short...</p> <p>One of my closest friends finally completed her tandem parachute jump after waiting since December to do it...she's brilliant, she suffers from really bad epilepsy and tries not to let this rule her life, even though it restricts her in so many ways. So, she tries to find adrenaline boosting activities to make up for the fact that she can't drive, was asked to leave her old job,(she had one fit, after working there for six years) can't risk having another child and suffers from such bad dizziness that she's been accused of being drunk by a mother at school...yet she is such a great, positive person, that you can't help being happy around her...she raised £2k for the epilepsy society...an amazing achievement!! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/04/24/weird~2155888/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/04/24/weird~2155888/Tue, 24 Apr 2007 23:05:59 +0200 <p>Just got back from a lovely night with friends...very tame, just chatting but too much vodka..in a house of a friends ex hubbys who is trying to sell it for about 650k, stupid amount of money for a terraced house with no garden. Loads of stairs, average size rooms, with the only bath at basement level and the master bedroom on the fourth floor...what is it with this country and the cost of property? </p> <p>What hope do the next generation have of ever being able to afford their own property? I brought my house for 65k 13 years ago, and only just affordable on the salaries that me and ex were on at the time. Its market value now is about 295k, yet, its all pointless..if I want to upgrade, I'll have to pay more...so the only winners will be the government (stamp duty) estate agents, solicitors and the banks.. And if first time buyers (as we were) tried to buy it now, they would have to be earning serious amounts of dosh or choosing a self certified mortgage, at higher interest rates, to be able to buy it.</p> <p>My parents are both in their seventies and have lived in the family home for 40 odd years. They have both worked continually, and still do (to be able to afford the council tax) they have never claimed benefits, never been unemployed, never been a burden to any government and always instilled in us children, the importance of work and supporting ourselves. They have recently been discussing selling their much loved house and renting to avoid us having to pay inheritance tax or being forced to sell it to pay for nursing care in the future. Yet others, who have always relied on the state to support them, lived in council accommdation or received housing benefit, will be entitled to the same nursing home care for free.</p> <p>The more this government (and I'm sure any other) continually penalise the people who work and pay their taxes by dreaming up more and more ways to tax us (improvements to your house? pay more, extra fine for motoring offences, airplane fuel tax,etc) the less likely future generations will see any benefit in working...</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/04/22/slightly_pissed~2136209/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/04/22/slightly_pissed~2136209/Sun, 22 Apr 2007 07:02:50 +0200 <p>No more negativity....here's a list of happy things...</p> <p>1) Spending all day in bed, on a work day...<br> 2} Snuggling with my children...<br> 3) Friends...there for all the ups and downs,<br> 4) Being healthy with all bits in the right places!<br> 5) Cash machine still giving me money...<br> 6) Harry Hills TV Burps...(makes me laugh out loud!!!)<br> 7) First day of a two week holiday...<br> 8) Tingles I get at the start of a live concert or show,<br> 9) Snow<br> 10)Walks with the dogs...</p> <p>I'm sooo non high maintenance!!!!</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/04/20/things_that_make_you_go_hahhhhh_in_a_goo~2129494/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://alicekate.blog.co.uk/2007/04/20/things_that_make_you_go_hahhhhh_in_a_goo~2129494/Fri, 20 Apr 2007 20:32:15 +0200