After 37 years of enduring the bullying, jealousy and underlying hostility of my sister, she has finally achieved her long standing ambition, to destroy my relationship with my parents.
So the background....Evil Sister (ES) was nicknamed Thunder Cloud when we were children due to her quick temper and mood swings. She has always had the ability to create an uncomfortable atmosphere if things aren't going her way, so as a family of four children and busy, working parents it became the norm to give into her, for a quiet life.
At the age of 41, she, her two children and alcoholic husband continue to live with and be financially supported by my parents, as they have done for the last seven years. The money they earn isn't saved, they have no furniture, expensive gadgets or jewellery, they rarely go on holiday, they drive a car that cost them a grand, shop for clothes in budget shops, have no savings, yet they always have money for the pub and cigarettes.
Until a few weeks ago, ES was working for me, a temporary offer that continued for over a year, she was earning a very generous salary but was only occasionally contributing to the household bills. She walked out of work following a petty argument with another member of staff, a luxury few of us can do without another job lined up, due to our financial commitments. And four weeks later she's a lady of leisure, lie-ins, afternoon baths and day time tv, watching the clock to ensure she looks busy when my seventy year old mother or seventy three year old father return from their full time jobs. She knows they won't dare to ask her when she's going to look for a job, she's waiting for one to be handed to her. She knows they will bail her out to pay for her sons new grammer school uniform, and that they won't ask for her to pay them back. She always gets round them.
Until recently, I used to pity her. Underneath the bullying and snide remarks she is timid, lacking in confidence, frightened of driving somewhere new, intimidated by answering the phone or going to an interview and desperately,desperately unhappy. I pitied her lack of close friends that she could confide in over a cup of tea, instead of talking crap when pissed in the pub and becoming embarrasing and dull with a ten minute best friend. But no more.
I have endured a life time of her resentment, her justification to herself that I've only achieved what I have because of the help I have had from the family. That somehow I have had all the luck without considering the fact that I didn't go the pub every night. That I had more from our parents then she did when we were growing up...I've heard how she bragged to my staff that she could run the business better then me, that it would fail if she wasn't there and trying to encourage other staff to criticise me and my deputy when we were doing office work.
So her final act that has shattered our family?
We have chosen to avoid discussing problems with ES or critising her or her lifestyle because we have become frightened of her reaction and how long the cool atmosphere would continue for. When ES feels she is under attack by anyone questioning something she has done or not agreeing with her opinions, she retaliates by picking on your weaknesses, invading your personal space and becoming very aggressive forcing you to back down.
At a family party, a friend was advising ES to stop drinking red wine as he had seen how volatile she becomes after the sixth glass and he jokingly said he would go home if she had the next glass. I joined in, saying I would get her some vodka as it doesn't have the same effect, hoping to avoid an outburst that we had witnessed the night before and which she couldn't remember. Suddenly, the sixth glass was no longer necessary, she staggered up from her chair, looked at me and shouted 'You're a drug addict, and I hate you!'
